7 God's Gift to Singles.

HOW TO BE AN EFFECTIVE SINGLE

The chats and inbox messages from ladies and men asking us how we did it are quite a number actually. We haven’t met some physically but more times than not the chats are similar, inquiring on how to go about their relationship for they would want to do it right.

By God’s grace, we, The Kaba’s believe that we have a call for the singles, -transitioning to- young couples and so let me share with you what I came across during my search of scripture and study.

When we look into scriptures, there are seven gifts that God gave Adam way before He presented Eve to him. I believe we can borrow from these seven as the steps to take in single-hood. It is from these seven that Adam was able to fulfill his singleness and become a complete individual thus prompting God to say, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper suitable for him”- Genesis 2:18. All these gifts we get from the 1st & 2nd chapters of the bible.

For one to be an effective single, then they need to follow God’s list.

• IMAGE;

When the trinity had a discussion in heaven during the creation of man they decided this creation had to look so different from the existing creation that had happened in the first 5 days (vs 1-23). Finding man’s uniqueness in “vs 26, Let us create man in our own image, our likeness..”.

Before you settle in a relationship therefore, as a single person, you need to know your identity. This identity can’t be found in another person but God. One is not legible for marriage if they do not know their value, self-worth, or worse they don’t know themselves. Have you noted that many get in a relationship and since they don’t who they are, they want to ride on the image of their spouse?

• Function;

Having known what our image is and who we are made in the likeness of. This tells us in detail how we need to function and that is like Him. Note this; God restores the earth through His word. He says let there be and light and all that was formed came to be. What we speak to our lives, be it positive or negative, will either bring life or death respectively. Many things we tell ourselves are like prophecies of our lives since they affect not only our thought process, circumstances, and belief. A single person needs to have control of their tongue through what they say, lest they get into a long term relationship only to have it die by what they say. It is through our functions that we make us dependent on ourselves and not others. This is due to our knowledge of our functioning abilities, talents, and gifts. So my dears know how to function correctly before saying you do.

• PRESENCE;

What a single person really needs is to be found in the presence of God, not in the presence of a girlfriend or boyfriend. I do believe that no one would come to ask for your hand in marriage while you are engaged elsewhere. Single-hood is the best time to be found in studying the bible, in prayer, and even in ministry. It is time to be intimate with God and have the filling of the Holy Spirit. We all need to be soaked in His presence and the best time to have this experience is in singleness when there are no other cares that can steal your attention. If you are not complete within yourself and in no relationship with your maker, marriage won’t work. A single person is ready for marriage when and after knowing self and knowing God since at this time they would not need marriage to define them they are already defined.

• Work;

The purpose as to why God placed Adam in the garden was for him to work; become himself. This was possible through the gifts, talents, and abilities that God had put in him. We see Adam naming all kinds of animals and plants. God has done the same to everyone, gifting, and giving abilities. It is only in single-hood that one can bring out their awesomeness for there are no cares that come with relationships. Marriage is a place for two to become one, not for each one to become themselves. If you cannot tell who you are, how can you tell who you can be compatible with for marriage?

• CULTIVATE;

Before Eve was brought to Adam, he was found busy doing great things in the garden where God placed him. Before God presents the spouse you want before you, as a single person, you should be found busy doing something good. As a single person, are you making it unbearable for everyone in your circle or you are an oasis they run to when they need to be uplifted, comforted when distressed, or encouraged when discouraged? In your single-hood, you ought to be a fertilizer onto which nutrients grow and not a weed where things/people get choked and die. Real suitors are looking for a partner onto which a relationship will flourish, not another that will die.

• Protect;

Adam is placed in the garden by God was for a purpose. For the same we hire a gardener, house help, or security to tend the garden, take care of kids and house while offering the security of our valuables. Their responsibility is to protect and be accountable for what is on their watch. Similar is who we are; God’s property. Our bodies don’t belong to us, we are just custodians. It is God’s temple and needs to be taken sacred not giving it to sexual intercourse before time to ‘defile’ it since He will destroy those who defile His temple. As a protector, you need to protect others' confidence in you in such that they can trust you as someone of high integrity no matter what. If you can’t protect and safeguard what God has given you, how will you be able to protect, honor the worth and person’s dignity of the one looking to have a long term relationship with? If not able to protect then not ready to marry.

• GOD’S WORD;

The first six above focused on the outward appearance to all around you, but this is the real deal. Its key focus is internal, what is hidden in you as a single person. As a single, what program are you running with inside you? Many Singles are in the presence of God even serving in church but do not have the word. Hence need to note a church is not a hall of fame of righteous people but a hospital where all run to. A single person will not be able to keep the above essentials if they lack the word of God within. Jesus Christ was able to overcome Satan by the word; single people are not excluded from knowing the word or even the devil’s attacks. Any type of success be it in relationship or business, can only be found by meditating on the word of God as in Joshua 1: 8. It is this word of God you take while in single-hood and continue with the same in marriage will give you success in marriage. The word of God will not only teach you but preserve your relationship. Marrying one with no word of God in them is dangerous as we are witnessing with numerous incidences in a relationship.

When singles manifest and grow in these seven gifts in their life. Then is when God can look as He did with Adam and say,” It is not good that you should be alone”. If not matching up then it is good to be alone so that there be no trouble in the relationship. Do you think you are at that stage God can say Yes / No? Before you answer me re-evaluate yourself with the seven above.

Compiled by;

Mr. & Mrs. Simon Kaba